Darkness
VET
- Joined
- Apr 29, 2011
- Messages
- 5,650
The thought of Christmas brings up a lot of different thoughts and emotions foe everyone. Some love it, some hate it. Some love the spirit if buying gifts, some go through a checklist of all the shit they have to buy and bitch the whole time. Some will enjoy their Christmas company, some will watch the click until they leave. Some will look around them at the people gathered with quiet graditude, some will daydream about where they'd rather be, who they'd rather be with. Some, though few, will be alone.
I've been pretty quiet lately thinking about this stuff. I find myself thinking much more about Christmas season memories than my current reality.
It's all about people. I think about people I'll never see again.
Some of this brings me to dad. I remember going with him to get a live Christmas tree in the woods. Notice I said the woods, not a tree farm. Didn't have them where I grew up. I remember him taking the kids out for a Christmas Eve drive to look at lights. We didn't know this was so mom could prepare the Santa gift pile. I remember the rifle he gave me when I was too young to have one. It became my prized posession. Years later I was shooting in the driveway, laid it on the car, and silly wife drove away and it was gone forever. The next Christmas I opened a gift, now as a man, with an identicle rifle inside. I didn't cry when I recieved the first one, but I sure did the second time.
I was my grandmas favorite. She always made sure I had Christmas treats first. Her and I had a special connection. She's been gone for 24 years and I still miss her.
At least I quit trying to think about what to buy dad for Christmas. He had been dead five years before that crossed my mind. Early on I would walk through a store browsing for him before the thought would come that this was no longer necessary
I remember the Christmas Eve date I had my senior year in high school. She was out of my league and we were crazy about each other. I took her to a dirty honky tonk bar and we drank cheap long necks laughing til our guts hurt. I bet she is doing very well today.
There's a pretty special friend I got to know around Christmas time in recent years. Probably any symbol of Christmas will always remind me of them. They helped me a lot, more than any other human being on earth. I've lost touch, and I'll bet they are doing very very well today, better than they think they are. I could write many books about memories but the Christmas ones are the ones I ponder most.
There are many many more people I think about Christmas memories that I'll never see again. I'll keep doing that.
I played Santa for my kids for 22 years without getting caught or one close call. This will be the first Christmas I've not done that as an adult. I've looked forward to this retirement at 40 from the Santa job. Still lots of gifts, but they're already under the tree.
So I've been pretty quiet lately taking this all in. Im with a big house full of family right now but I'm not sure I'm here. I'm "back there" this year.
I've been pretty quiet lately thinking about this stuff. I find myself thinking much more about Christmas season memories than my current reality.
It's all about people. I think about people I'll never see again.
Some of this brings me to dad. I remember going with him to get a live Christmas tree in the woods. Notice I said the woods, not a tree farm. Didn't have them where I grew up. I remember him taking the kids out for a Christmas Eve drive to look at lights. We didn't know this was so mom could prepare the Santa gift pile. I remember the rifle he gave me when I was too young to have one. It became my prized posession. Years later I was shooting in the driveway, laid it on the car, and silly wife drove away and it was gone forever. The next Christmas I opened a gift, now as a man, with an identicle rifle inside. I didn't cry when I recieved the first one, but I sure did the second time.
I was my grandmas favorite. She always made sure I had Christmas treats first. Her and I had a special connection. She's been gone for 24 years and I still miss her.
At least I quit trying to think about what to buy dad for Christmas. He had been dead five years before that crossed my mind. Early on I would walk through a store browsing for him before the thought would come that this was no longer necessary
I remember the Christmas Eve date I had my senior year in high school. She was out of my league and we were crazy about each other. I took her to a dirty honky tonk bar and we drank cheap long necks laughing til our guts hurt. I bet she is doing very well today.
There's a pretty special friend I got to know around Christmas time in recent years. Probably any symbol of Christmas will always remind me of them. They helped me a lot, more than any other human being on earth. I've lost touch, and I'll bet they are doing very very well today, better than they think they are. I could write many books about memories but the Christmas ones are the ones I ponder most.
There are many many more people I think about Christmas memories that I'll never see again. I'll keep doing that.
I played Santa for my kids for 22 years without getting caught or one close call. This will be the first Christmas I've not done that as an adult. I've looked forward to this retirement at 40 from the Santa job. Still lots of gifts, but they're already under the tree.
So I've been pretty quiet lately taking this all in. Im with a big house full of family right now but I'm not sure I'm here. I'm "back there" this year.
