Funny things people say to you

A.B

A.B

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Jun 3, 2004
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Im sure all of you have run into people in public and they say some funny things

Today was walking down an aisle at walmart. Came to the end of the aisle and a guy walked infront of me, jumps back, "holy dude you made me shit my pants!". I said thanks for the compliment. LOL
 
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My best one was back in the day when I pushed 225 and I was heading into the doctor's office. A little kid actually let out with a wow and mommy said that was impolite. The kid said he wanted to feel my muscles so mommy asked if he could. Putting good sense to the wind I let him feel the arms and then thought, oh man am I going to get the flu from the kid. Egads.
 
I had some bird from the pub the other night try to tell me i look like some jacob guy off twlight...Bitch Get the f**k outta here!!!

still took here home tho, boy was she a fruitloop!
 
DLEATO said:
I had some bird from the pub the other night try to tell me i look like some jacob guy off twlight...Bitch Get the f**k outta here!!!

still took here home tho, boy was she a fruitloop!
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Now that's how you do it!
 
I love getting the kids turn around, "mommy, did you see how big that guy is?" Makes me feel good!
 
i used to get looks all the time with i was at my biggest nothing said just lots and lots of looks
 
I've been noticing you on the metro every morning. Will you come home with me?





No sir I will not!!
 
My best ever occured in the Walmart in Oak Ridge, TN a couple years ago. I had just got out of the gym and was pumped up like a balloon in a tank, and in the toiletry isle was this middle aged fat woman and her attractive teenage daughter. I stood trying to find some razors or some shit. The woman comes up to me and says "my daughter thinks you are the hottest thing she ever saw". He daughter wilts with embarrassment.

I say "really", then walk briskly 20 feet over to her daughter, stare at her a moment, then give her a big hug and kiss her on the forehead, then stroke her cheek as I ask her if she knows how beautiful she is. The little crazy bitch burst into tears and jumps clear off the floor into me, wrapping her legs around me hugging me. Still crying for joy, I struggle to get her off me. Cuz the little girl is like 16 right? I look at her mom, who is looking at my ass.

I finally pry her loose, tell her to have a nice day, and walk away. She continues to sob and say she will never wash her forehead or cheek again.

Come on, I'm far from all that. I think I like hillbilly girls...
 
Darkness said:
My best ever occured in the Walmart in Oak Ridge, TN a couple years ago. I had just got out of the gym and was pumped up like a balloon in a tank, and in the toiletry isle was this middle aged fat woman and her attractive teenage daughter. I stood trying to find some razors or some shit. The woman comes up to me and says "my daughter thinks you are the hottest thing she ever saw". He daughter wilts with embarrassment.

I say "really", then walk briskly 20 feet over to her daughter, stare at her a moment, then give her a big hug and kiss her on the forehead, then stroke her cheek as I ask her if she knows how beautiful she is. The little crazy bitch burst into tears and jumps clear off the floor into me, wrapping her legs around me hugging me. Still crying for joy, I struggle to get her off me. Cuz the little girl is like 16 right? I look at her mom, who is looking at my ass.

I finally pry her loose, tell her to have a nice day, and walk away. She continues to sob and say she will never wash her forehead or cheek again.

Come on, I'm far from all that. I think I like hillbilly girls...
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you funny basterd, thats hilarious!
 
i remembered a funny story---i hadnt seen a guy i worked with in like 10 yrs and i ran into him and the first thing he said was "damn bro is all you do it hunt and lift?" my response--"well maybe fuck to" we both got a laugh out of that
 
A year ago, I was at traffic court in San Bernadino. Of course, I didn't care to be there so as I entered the traffic clerk's office, I had this "please don't bother me" look on my face but I forgot that I was wearing my usual "House of Pain" sleeve-t at the time. As I walked into the room and towards the line, this guy near the end of the line says in a semi-loud voice, "DAMN DUDE, WHAT DO YOU BENCH?" I get that all of the time. LOL
 
ozzy69 said:
i remembered a funny story---i hadnt seen a guy i worked with in like 10 yrs and i ran into him and the first thing he said was "damn bro is all you do it hunt and lift?" my response--"well maybe fuck to" we both got a laugh out of that
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Ive had the same....Im a big bowhunter ozzy..
 
Darkness said:
My best ever occured in the Walmart in Oak Ridge, TN a couple years ago. I had just got out of the gym and was pumped up like a balloon in a tank, and in the toiletry isle was this middle aged fat woman and her attractive teenage daughter. I stood trying to find some razors or some shit. The woman comes up to me and says "my daughter thinks you are the hottest thing she ever saw". He daughter wilts with embarrassment.

I say "really", then walk briskly 20 feet over to her daughter, stare at her a moment, then give her a big hug and kiss her on the forehead, then stroke her cheek as I ask her if she knows how beautiful she is. The little crazy bitch burst into tears and jumps clear off the floor into me, wrapping her legs around me hugging me. Still crying for joy, I struggle to get her off me. Cuz the little girl is like 16 right? I look at her mom, who is looking at my ass.

I finally pry her loose, tell her to have a nice day, and walk away. She continues to sob and say she will never wash her forehead or cheek again.

Come on, I'm far from all that. I think I like hillbilly girls...
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You left out the part where you beat it like it owes you money in the truck in the parking lot.
 
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