My man, I totally hear you on that vanity thing. I have made it my goal every single day (even using affirmations and listening to dr. robert anthony, etc.) to retract myself from the vanities and futility of this world and root myself well, in my self. Doing so has led to joy I've never really experienced before.
It's pretty hard, you have to accept that beliefs and values you've held all your life may be erroneous and habits are hard to change but I find staying present and being aware that I'm more than just my body, I'm the thinker behind the thoughts, has really helped me. A few months back actually, I had been completely off cycle for almost 6 months and lost over 20 pounds and I really didn't think of it in anyway except that I was using my talent in other places instead of dominantly at the gym, and when the time comes to refocus on the gym, my body will respond like it always does.
It helps to think of other great qualities you possess, how much you actually have to be grateful for in life, and goals you set.....direct yourself in a sense. Otherwise people and events direct my life for me. And I stopped that over a year ago.
Jmho.
Prince