You ever ask yourself....

Darkness

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Apr 29, 2011
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....wtf am I putting myself through this for?

Every now and then I do.

Training is one thing, but the training many of us do, going to the gym and pounding our bodies through torture with a level of intensity that some people can't even think about much less do, is what I'm talking about.

I'm mid 40 something now. Shit is different as you old farts know.

Today was quad day and I wanted to go heavy for example. I started out on split squats since I respond well to them and also to take some weight off my back when I get to front squats. I did three sets of ten, each leg, complete with slow tempo decentric motion and two second static holds at the bottom. With a pair of 80s in my hands. Down to parallel too.

That kicked my ass.

Next came back squats and I realized I had tweaked my lower back somewhat. So I stop and stretch the fuck out of hamstrings and calves to make them stop pulling at all. Two plates compressed my back in the hole at parallel and I know not to go further.

But then I got an idea....

I'll put reverse bands at the top of the racks to the bar, and add an extra plate on each side, so the hole will be like 225 at the bottom and progress to 405 at the top. What a genius I am. I'll not be stopped today.

So I did four sets of that shit 8-8-7-10. I'm not sure who won. I stopped at dollar general and had to pull myself out ifnthe truck with my arms to get trash bags for whatshername.

My legs are still growing all the way around. Tomorrow off to an airport little seatsand do all that shit that makes stuff muscles and DOMs a fucked in place to be.

But the thought crossed my mind ......What the fuck am I doing it like this for?
 
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For me it's truly my sobriety and not wanting to hurt people. ..... it is my tool ...good for me and the stupid fucking people I deal with daily
 
I find myself thinking why am I putting my body through hell everyday, every once in a while.............then reality hits, because I FUCKING LOVE IT! Old school mentality, quit being a pussy and lift!
 
I think the same thing when the aches and pains start in. I'm still dealing with the friggen shoulder I messed up when you said you could do more pull-up than me at the Arnold. The quad I blew in April, I'm squatting but am scared to go past 365 because I can still feel where it popped. One day it will be on squats and another on extensions or presses. Sux getting old. But I still keep trying and hitting the gym putting myself through it and don't know why. Probably because I'm still trying to gt as big as you which won't happen.
 
And I had trouble getting out of bed this morning.

...and of course I went straight to the gym.
 
oddly enough beating the crap out of myself in the gym is the best part of my day! Pretty sure I would have gotten myself fired from work if I couldn't take off to train and break up the day lol. Minus the injuries....which is a mind fuck, but that just means I get to focus on other body parts.
 
I feel crippled when I don't. I just took 2 weeks off for fishing out of state and I'm still mentally fucked.
 
I think maaaaaybe I will be asking myself this some day.

But right now, I finally like what I am, physically, yet still want more. I can't stand the thought of becoming something less in that regard. I can't even stand the thought of not still becoming something more.

And, frankly, if I don't move and push my body somehow and get the energy out, I feel terrible. Who the fuck wants to be sedentary?

So, no, I don't ask that. (Yet?)
 
We have to adjust training as we age like it or not. Unfortunately, we are mortal.
 

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