a hundred miles...

mrhtbd

mrhtbd

Joined
Apr 23, 2015
Messages
930
Feeling caged all of a sudden, need to get out. Tired of playing down, ready to break free. Should do some dead-lifts, but that would lead back to this place. Need some space; another place. Need to drive a hundred miles before I'm done. Anyplace but here, compass reeling, spinning round, sun is setting on this town. Was going North I was bound, but running away I won't be found. Then what the hey, taking splay, heading South, yeah, then East. Maybe to the ocean I think I'll ride. That's it then, a hundred miles to the South, then East to the morning tide. I'm gone... before the going gets me! To the ocean then will I subside...
 
Took flight into the night southbound as the sit set wets. Needed some road beneath my feet; demons I had to beat. One hundred and ninety miles I was found at the Atlantic ocean's immutable sound. The surf from bygone eras met the lust for living it was met. Ocean City Maryland is where I again set foot, bygone years and memories cast through the inklings of time. Four seasons here I sat a chair, high above the surf, four seasons my skin so fair my skin was washed with sunlight gleaming. I return to the lair.
 
Can't you see, can't you see, what that woman, been doing to me.
Where's that mountain? I'm ready to jump off!
 
This thread reminds me of the time when I took a stripper to the laundry Matt out of kindness. People stared more at me than her as I sat there, with her in the middle of this joint trying to untangle thongs, panties, garters, and all kinds of freaky things after taking them out of the dryer. Fluorescent things. Leopard print things. Black lace things. All laid out as if the place wasn't public and full of people. Why is this man here? Why they ask? Well there can only be one reason. And it might now be what you think. Then Again it could be.
 
Darkness said:
This thread reminds me of the time when I took a stripper to the laundry Matt out of kindness. People stared more at me than her as I sat there, with her in the middle of this joint trying to untangle thongs, panties, garters, and all kinds of freaky things after taking them out of the dryer. Fluorescent things. Leopard print things. Black lace things. All laid out as if the place wasn't public and full of people. Why is this man here? Why they ask? Well there can only be one reason. And it might now be what you think. Then Again it could be.
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Have you been hanging out in laundromats with Ozzy again? We all know how good he looks in leopard thongs!
Sorry Oz. Couldn't resist.
 
I just don't understand why you make your pain and weakness your centerpiece. Every post you make has to do with suffering emotional pain. You are searching for sympathy. Friends can offer sympathy for a suffering friend but if the friend is suffering 24/7/365 for years then WTF. Suffering is suppose to motivate us to seek a solution to our problems. Searching for sympathy is part of the process but to become addicted to sympathy, fail to move forward, and continue to decry your endless pain is not productive. So what happens is your friends try to make light of your continued stagnation or make subtle or not so subtle jokes to give you a hint.. to fucking man up and solve your problems and stop your whining while you do so.

/rant
 
^ this...

But now this thread definitely reminds me of the time I ended in Somerset KY on a detour around a big wreck on I 75 in the middle of the night. I found the panties still lodged in a rotten hollow tree but I didn't take a pic.
 
Glycomann said:
I just don't understand why you make your pain and weakness your centerpiece. Every post you make has to do with suffering emotional pain. You are searching for sympathy. Friends can offer sympathy for a suffering friend but if the friend is suffering 24/7/365 for years then WTF. Suffering is suppose to motivate us to seek a solution to our problems. Searching for sympathy is part of the process but to become addicted to sympathy, fail to move forward, and continue to decry your endless pain is not productive. So what happens is your friends try to make light of your continued stagnation or make subtle or not so subtle jokes to give you a hint.. to fucking man up and solve your problems and stop your whining while you do so.

/rant
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They call me the seeker,
I been searching low and high.
I won't get to get what I'm after,
Til the day I die!
/// ////// The Who
 
The past fades into irrelevance through the passage of the fleetingness of many tomorrows, leaving us only with the conundrum of today's possibilities. And somewhere a butterfly lands sending the ripples of times tide washing away even the hope of now. I am, not.
 
mrhtbd said:
I am not in pain, I left town to prevent me from beating the shit out of someone who owes me money. I don't want to f*** up a clean police record. The divorce is no longer painful to me, the best thing to happen. I quit my pussy teaching job because I hated the place I worked and took a stand. I'm breaking free from the bullshit shackles that have held me through time. I refuse to be subjugated anymore. I don't give a s*** about feelings, I am nobody's victim. I just needed a hundred miles of distance from the shithole that I allowed to hold me for the past 18 months. I came 190 miles back to the place where I got my son's mom pregnant 19 years ago, back to the spirit of who I was at the time. What I wanted and where I was headed. Well, 2 Master Degrees, 8 Teaching Certifications, a Principal's certification and 15 years experience teaching later, I've come to the fuck-all of the whole charade and either want what I want from here on in or am ready to retire and hammer nails again. I have 2 interviews on Monday and only 1 will allow me to consolidate my education and experience and move in the design I seek. The other is fuckAll and only practice. Just like the guts I exhibited 20 years ago to risk all to save someone's life by risking my own, I now either move forward or give in, take the retirement and fuck-all hammer nails. I have not given in, I am not weak, I will not submit. Monday's opportunity may be the saving grace and I just may fit the bill. I needed this weekend to break from my desire to get even for debts owed and live in faith as required to make a rescue. The confidence I have gained from returning to this place is bold, genuine. And real. Just what I need to go in with the interview on Monday. You guys would want me no less.
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Good for you man. Nothing wrong with finding your inner peace. Life is short and full of ups and downs and complicated BS.

I applaud anyone anytime they have enough sense to stop the madness, do some introspection, and free your mind of the toxic garbage that owns you.

Life can be tough - glad to hear you found some joy. ;)
 
This > ..."and free your mind of the toxic garbage that owns you."
Thank you all!
 
Glycomann said:
This thread reminds me of a family of racoons I ran over.
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I ran over a pigeon yesterday. He tried to fly out from under the truck but I don't think he made it. I heard a thud and saw him flying up from the front with a bunch of feathers flying every where. I'm not sure whether to add it to my road kill list or not....
 
I cant even follow wth ur talking about... I like the stripper in the laundry story though.

AM I MISSING SOMETHING?

Dude are you like ok mentally? Have you sought out someone to talk to? I aint bashing or flaming. I am just saying. It seems you are all over the place.
 
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