damage tried and failed

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mrhtbd

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Sometimes I wonder if all this volume madness is some-type of punishment for known or unknown failings and insurrections.
Feeling particularly low today so I knew it was legs, but that wasn't enough.
I got bumped off the leg press by two old ladies and did something I never tried before:
I loaded the bar with 135 (two 25's and 4 10's to get lower), then I did a clean and press, got a wide grip, and lowered the bar to my shoulders then continued into a full squat, stopped at the bottom, then exploded out to full extension and the bar overhead for 10 reps.
I'll call them squat presses.
I did squat presses for 10 reps, then went right into straight-leg deadlifts for 10 reps.
I did these both for 5x10, brutal. Heaving between sets, grip slipping and holding the bar against my leg to take it down, crazy.
Yeah, didn't feel so hot today, as a person that is. Wondering maybe I am a loser, and maybe I don't have anything to offer anyone, maybe it's all true. Yeah, it's easy to play the victim. So I went in to prove it by trying to break-down the machine; me. Failed. Miserably failed.

The machine (me) had a few ticks, (shoulder separations) but refused to break and commanded solid sets throughout. A failure at refusing to fail. Well I didn't fail to complete 400 cursed reps today, and there was much grunting and swearing under my breath with sweat blinding me, while my fingers slowly lost their grip on the last reps of deadlifts, so a battle of wills occured between the muscles giving in and the brain refusing to be stripped of those last few golden reps whereby all growth is free. That's what rest/pause was designed for, yeah, I got those reps.

Broken refusing failure!
Now it's all growth after roast beef and provolone on a Philly roll!
Chaa
 
mrhtbd

That sounds pretty creative. Not sure I understand it enough to do it myself.
You are not a loser and you have alot to offer. I get those negative feelings about everyday. The truth is: you are good. Negativity is a lie. It is nothing more than a deception.
 
It's like doing a squat with a bar on your shoulders, but when you stand up you push the weight off your shoulders and continue pushing until your legs, body, and arms are locked out, then you lower it to your shoulders, go back into the squat, and push it all up again.
Going right into straight-leg deadlifts was the topping.
Did some very heavy breathing between sets.
Today I earned my gains, even though I missed the gym for watching one kid while the other went to practice.
Maybe I could use a day off.
I've been very hard on myself lately.
I mostly learned that no matter what shape you're in, if something else is bothering you, find it out or potentiate injury in trying to keep it hidden.
 
No need to feel like a loser. If anything I'm a loser. I'm just a tired old biker, been in prison twice, have done terrible things to some terrible people, but I came to realize this one thing.
I am so valuable in God's eyes that He was willing to send His only Son Jesus to die on a cruel cross to pay the price for the sins of an old Outlaw like me.
And the same applies to you whether you believe that or not. So that makes you someone pretty special, as is everyone. We are all unique and special in our own ways.
You may be just a little crazy, but who isn't?
 
Crazy enough to grin when I found out the cute Blond
(she has a wonderful voy'ace!) Southern stripper is back at the club. Besides that fantasy crap, I can't believe I told a 20 something girl in the gym today she had a nice ass.
I tried to be coy, though, I said, "Those spandex look as thought they were modeled after your behind, which I couldn't help sneaking a peak at the squat rack!"
For some strange reason she seemed to like it.
Although, I must admit, I looked very jacked today after 30 sets of chest ss with 30 sets for back.
 
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