Funny Story

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bufbiker

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I was at my P.O. Box that I use for nefarious dealings just getting the junk out of it and az I'm leaving this lady pulled up next to me. I always park way past anyone else so I can see if there is anyone around watching or ready to charge at me, so she was definitely not looking for the closest spot. She tells me I had a nice car, I told her she had nice eyes. So she started talking about different cars she had over the years and all her ex husbands, five I think. All the while I'm checking her out seeing if she's doable. Very pretty, but very rough looking too. But her body was very nice for a 60ish woman. So I'm thinking doggy style or reverse cowgirl so she can't talk any more.
I told her I had to go, I needed a good work out. Her response to that was to ask me if I'm married. I told her it all depended on what she wanted. She looked at me and said, your married. I ain't messing with no married man. Without another word she started her car up, backed out and took off.
I guess she was looking for number six.
I was glad she took off. I've already got issues.
 
My gf just said a couple months ago that women are always hitting on me and I said it don't count when they are 80 and have walkers, so no I don't. LOL
 
Friggemall said:
My gf just said a couple months ago that women are always hitting on me and I said it don't count when they are 80 and have walkers, so no I don't. LOL
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If you're 75 eighty year old women look good. It's all a matter of perspective and age. At my age anything 65 - 18 can be attractive. In fact I know 70 year old lady I'd jump on in a heart beat. I also know one that just turned 18 and called me to say she was legal now. Her grandmother put her up to it, but I'd do her, her mother or her grandmother and be equally happy.
 
Horny not normal. I don't really know. I'm not good looking like you, and my six pack is a distended case, but for some reason women love me. I guess I'm just comfortable in who and what I am and I'm not shy when it comes to my body. I like all my parts.
 
Curious.. I don't have a lot of sperience on women older than 53.
1. How many have a dried out crack that just won't drench?
2. Do you have to bring lube and condoms or just lube or just condoms?
3. Are they less or more inhibited once their eggs have all dropped?
4. Is the smell more like fish or more like chicken after say 55?


I have this one that flirts with me at the gym all the time. She's probably in her early 60s or late 50s but it's hard to tell because she has had some work done. I'm pretty sure she has butt implants and titty implants and her lips are fuller than they should be. I'm on the fence on this one but intrigued in a weird way. I'm thinking it might be 1/2 way between banging a rubber doll and used car. What would you do?
 
Funny questions, but actually pretty good questions.
1&2. I always use some sort of lube, motion lotion is my favorite, and it's flavored. Something I figured out through trial and error is that with post menopausal women you have to take a little extra time to get the blood flowing to the clit. A lot of older women think they can't get off any more but it's just a lack of stimulation to the clit. Suck on that thing and draw blood up into it. It will get hard just like your penis when a woman is sucking on it. They will all cream up with the proper attention, it just tskes longer.
3. My experience is they are less inhibited and willing to try different things and do things they would have never done in their prime. And the orgasms can be much more intense.
4. If it smells like either at any age RUN!!##
If it smells like fish she's just nasty.
If she smells like a chicken dinner that means there was someone right before you and they probably puked!
 
What would I do?
Go home and ask my wife for sex. Tell her my balls hurt (yes that still happens occasionally). If she says yes, get some. If she says no for any reason I'd be checking out the gym chick and but tell her up front you're happily married but are a male nympho who has never cheated before so be gentle. Tell them all that. They love the no strings thing as they mature.
 
Thanks Uncle Buff. I'll let you know if I blow out her butt implants.
 
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