I don't want to hijack it either and to prove it, I'll just post this up once
My unit went to Kenya in 1997 to do a humanitarian mission, the Kemyan & UK governments have a deal that the British troops can do hot weather training there, live firing, etc and we, the Medical Corps, go round the indigenous villages vaccinating kids and treating what ever we come across. After 6 weeks of living out on the Masai Mara plains, we all got back to our base camp and, naturally, hit the local bars. Every single woman there was a hooker, word got round that we were in town and they all came to the bars especially. Anyway, after a few beers and repeatedly telling them that I wasn't interested (orders from the bosses and doctor, HIV is rife down there) I decided to get a bit cheeky, the conversation went a bit like this;
Me - "Do you perform shows then?"
Hooker - "What kind of shows?"
Me - "You and another girl?"
Hooker - "How many girls?"
ME - "How many can you get?"
Hooker - "Another 2 at least"
Me (starting to grin like a Cheshire cat) - "Cool, how much will it be?"
Hooker - "100 schillings each from you guys and the same for the doorman of the club"
Me (doing foreign currency exchange in my head) "OK, I'll tell the guys"
Hooker - "Give me 5 minutes and meet me out back"
Me - "OK!"
Now, for those of you that are unfamiliar with the exchange rate between UK & Kenyan currencies in 1997, 100 KSchillings was equal to ?1.
I managed to muster 15 of my buddies and we marched outside like stupid schoolkids, sure enough, there she was with 2 friends and a travel rug. Now I'd just like to point out now that were these women living in the UK or US they'd have blokes that were professional sportsmen or rock/rap stars, they were all stunning!
Back to the story, they arranged the travel rug on a bit of grass out back of the club, in it's grounds, the 16 of us formed a circle around them and got out our Maglites as it was almost pitch dark. Wide eyed and open mouthed we saw these 3 beautiful black girls make a daisy chain and put on the mother of all live lesbian shows, they even used their own beer bottles as dildos! Each of them looked like they'd just bee shopping at Victoria's Secret, such was the quality of the underwear they had on. After about 20-30 minutes one of them asked the question that none of us will ever forget
"Who want wank?"
Looking at each other, quite shocked, we started nodding and slowly muttered,
"Erm, ok then"
So, again like little schoolboys, we formed a queue and waited for our hand jobs, which, funnily enough, cost another ?1.
Now I know what some of you might be thinking, exploitation & stuff but after it back in the club, the original hooker thanked me as she now had enough money to get milk for her baby for the next month. I did feel guilty at that point so I gave her another 500shillings as that was all I had left on me.
Wod got out back at camp and I was approached by my sergeant major, who just happened to be darker skinned than the locals and built like a brick shit house, and he asked me to organise another show and not leave camp without him!
32 of us went down that second night and there was 4 girls, so I had to organise 2 seperate shows!
Stopped by the gas station to grab a Gatorade. Some young chic standing outside asks me if I can give her a ride down the street to Walmart...says shes 22. Damn sure didnt look like a ho.lol So I'm like ok no problemo. So she starts tellin me "wow killa body" and feelin my arms and chest.lol So I pull an Arnie and do the same thing...reach over and cop-a-feel back.lol So then she says you got $50 to help me I'll blow ya.lmao I'm like UHH NO. She says how about $20...I'm like UHH NO.lol 
Whole story would've been different. Different title and everthing.
