- Joined
- Sep 11, 2004
- Messages
- 5,771
ORDERING PIZZA IN 2008
>
>
> This is so close to what is probably going to be happening in 2008 that
> we're not sure how funny this really is...
>
> Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID
> number?
>
> Customer: Hi, I'd like to place an order.
>
> Operator: I must have your NIDN first, sir.
>
> Customer: My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's
> 6102049998-45-54610.
>
> Operator: Thank you Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland
> Drive, and the phone number is 494-2366. Your office number over at
> Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number is 266-2566. Email
> address is [email protected]. Which number are you calling from sir?
>
> Customer: Huh? I'm at home. Where'd you get all this information?
>
> Operator: We're wired into the HSS, sir.
>
> Customer: The HSS, what is that?
>
> Operator: We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will
> add only 15 seconds to your ordering time.
>
> Customer: (sighs) Oh well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat
> Special pizzas.
>
> Operator: I don't think that's a good idea, sir.
>
> Customer: Whaddya mean?
>
> Operator: Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that
> you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your
> National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice
>
>
> Customer: What?!?! What do you recommend, then?
>
> Operator: You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like
> it.
>
> Customer: What makes you think I'd like something like that?
>
> Operator: Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your
> local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion.
>
> Customer: All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.
>
> Operator: That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids.
> Your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99.
>
> Customer: Lemme give you my credit card number.
>
> Operator: I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash.
> Your credit card balance is over its limit.
>
> Customer: I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver
> gets here.
>
> Operator: That won't work either, sir. Your checking account is
> overdrawn also.
>
> Customer: Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready.
> How long will it take?
>
> Operator: We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes,
> sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick'em up while you're out
> getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a
> little awkward.
>
> Customer: Wait! How do you know I ride a bike?
>
> Operator: It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your
> car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank
> yesterday.
>
> Customer: Well, I'll be a #%#^^&$%^$@#
>
> Operator: I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a
> July 4, 2003, conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see
> here in September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge.
> Oh yes, I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State
> Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to
> society?
>
> Customer: (speechless)
>
> Operator: Will there be anything else, sir?
>
> Customer: Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke.
>
> Operator: I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us
> from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits
> this. Thank you for calling Pizza Hut.
>
>
> This is so close to what is probably going to be happening in 2008 that
> we're not sure how funny this really is...
>
> Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID
> number?
>
> Customer: Hi, I'd like to place an order.
>
> Operator: I must have your NIDN first, sir.
>
> Customer: My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's
> 6102049998-45-54610.
>
> Operator: Thank you Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland
> Drive, and the phone number is 494-2366. Your office number over at
> Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number is 266-2566. Email
> address is [email protected]. Which number are you calling from sir?
>
> Customer: Huh? I'm at home. Where'd you get all this information?
>
> Operator: We're wired into the HSS, sir.
>
> Customer: The HSS, what is that?
>
> Operator: We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will
> add only 15 seconds to your ordering time.
>
> Customer: (sighs) Oh well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat
> Special pizzas.
>
> Operator: I don't think that's a good idea, sir.
>
> Customer: Whaddya mean?
>
> Operator: Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that
> you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your
> National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice
>
>
> Customer: What?!?! What do you recommend, then?
>
> Operator: You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like
> it.
>
> Customer: What makes you think I'd like something like that?
>
> Operator: Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your
> local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion.
>
> Customer: All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.
>
> Operator: That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids.
> Your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99.
>
> Customer: Lemme give you my credit card number.
>
> Operator: I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash.
> Your credit card balance is over its limit.
>
> Customer: I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver
> gets here.
>
> Operator: That won't work either, sir. Your checking account is
> overdrawn also.
>
> Customer: Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready.
> How long will it take?
>
> Operator: We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes,
> sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick'em up while you're out
> getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a
> little awkward.
>
> Customer: Wait! How do you know I ride a bike?
>
> Operator: It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your
> car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank
> yesterday.
>
> Customer: Well, I'll be a #%#^^&$%^$@#
>
> Operator: I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a
> July 4, 2003, conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see
> here in September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge.
> Oh yes, I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State
> Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to
> society?
>
> Customer: (speechless)
>
> Operator: Will there be anything else, sir?
>
> Customer: Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke.
>
> Operator: I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us
> from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits
> this. Thank you for calling Pizza Hut.
