The New Constitution!

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PREAMBLE



We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help

everyone get along, restore some resemblance of justice, avoid any more

riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the

blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and our

great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and

establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt

ridden, and delusional. We hold these truths to be self-evident: that a

whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim

that they require a Bill of No Rights.



ARTICLE I



You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any other form

of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one

is guaranteeing anything.



ARTICLE II



You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on

freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may

leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but

the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be ... and like

the rest of us, you need to simply deal with it.



ARTICLE III



You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a

screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the

tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently

wealthy by telling them they didn't warn you not to stick the

screwdriver in your eye.



ARTICLE IV



You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the

most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need,

but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after

generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than

the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.



ARTICLE V



You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but

from the looks of public housing, we should be wary of public health

care or public anything.



ARTICLE VI



You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you

kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if

the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair (yes, capital

punishment).



ARTICLE VII



You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob,

cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be

surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place

where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV, pool

tables, weight rooms, or a life of leisure.



ARTICLE VIII



You don't have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a

job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to

take advantage of the opportunities of part time jobs, education and

vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.



ARTICLE IX



You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you

have the right to PURSUE happiness--which by the way, is a lot easier if

you are not encumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by

those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.



ARTICLE X



This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are from.

We welcome you here. English is our language and like the one you left

behind, we also have a culture. Learn it or go back to the country and

the living conditions you were fleeing.








HAVE A GREAT DAY! :moon:
 

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