L
Ligirl
Guest
Here's a quick guide to help you see through what's really behind those personal ads
MEN'S ADS
40-ish.................... 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic.................. Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking........... Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
Educated.................. Will patronize the hell out of you
Free Spirit............... Banging your sister
Friendship first.......... As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun....................... Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking.............. Arrogant
Very good looking......... Dumb as a board
Huggable.................. Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Teddy Bear.................Ditto
Likes to cuddle........... Insecure mamas boy
Mature.................... Older than your father
Open-minded............... Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested
Physically fit............ Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Poet...................... Wrote ex-girlfriends number on a bathroom stall
Sensitive................. Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive............ Gay
Spiritual................. Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable.................... Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
Thoughtful................ Says "Excuse me" when he farts
Likes walks on the beach at sunset ..... Cheap bastard
WOMEN'S ADS
40-ish.................... 49
Adventurer................ Slept with all your friends
Athletic.................. No boobs
Average looking........... Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful................. Pathological liar
Contagious Smile.......... Does a lot of Ecstasy
Educated.................. Banged her Political Science professor
Emotionally Secure........ Medicated
Feminist.................. Fat ballbuster
Free spirit............... Junkie
Friendship first.......... Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun....................... Annoying
Gentle.................... Comatose
Good Listener............. Borderline Autistic
New-Age................... All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned............. Lights out, missionary position only, no BJs
Open-minded............... Desperate
Outgoing.................. Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate................ Sloppy drunk
Poet...................... Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional.............. Certified Bitch
Redhead................... Bad dye-job
Reubenesque............... Grossly Fat
Romantic.................. Looks better by candlelight
Social.................... Has been passed around like an hors d'oeuvres tray
Voluptuous................ Very Fat
Weight proportion w/ height...Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate............ Stalker
Widow..................... Drove first husband to shoot himself
Young at heart............ Old bat
MEN'S ADS
40-ish.................... 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic.................. Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking........... Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
Educated.................. Will patronize the hell out of you
Free Spirit............... Banging your sister
Friendship first.......... As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun....................... Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking.............. Arrogant
Very good looking......... Dumb as a board
Huggable.................. Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Teddy Bear.................Ditto
Likes to cuddle........... Insecure mamas boy
Mature.................... Older than your father
Open-minded............... Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested
Physically fit............ Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Poet...................... Wrote ex-girlfriends number on a bathroom stall
Sensitive................. Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive............ Gay
Spiritual................. Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable.................... Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
Thoughtful................ Says "Excuse me" when he farts
Likes walks on the beach at sunset ..... Cheap bastard
WOMEN'S ADS
40-ish.................... 49
Adventurer................ Slept with all your friends
Athletic.................. No boobs
Average looking........... Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful................. Pathological liar
Contagious Smile.......... Does a lot of Ecstasy
Educated.................. Banged her Political Science professor
Emotionally Secure........ Medicated
Feminist.................. Fat ballbuster
Free spirit............... Junkie
Friendship first.......... Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun....................... Annoying
Gentle.................... Comatose
Good Listener............. Borderline Autistic
New-Age................... All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned............. Lights out, missionary position only, no BJs
Open-minded............... Desperate
Outgoing.................. Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate................ Sloppy drunk
Poet...................... Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional.............. Certified Bitch
Redhead................... Bad dye-job
Reubenesque............... Grossly Fat
Romantic.................. Looks better by candlelight
Social.................... Has been passed around like an hors d'oeuvres tray
Voluptuous................ Very Fat
Weight proportion w/ height...Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate............ Stalker
Widow..................... Drove first husband to shoot himself
Young at heart............ Old bat
I had always wondered the meanings.
