Working at being a better father than I had

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ozzy69

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Every year on my kids birthday I set up a two person tent in our living room and have a sleep over with them....their bdays are in November and January...I started that with little oz and carried it over to miss oz.

Once a month I have a sleepover in little oz's room with him where we watch a movie of his choice on our portable DVD player we have for road trips.

I just want my kids to have better memories of me than I do of my father. It has taken a lot of time and energy to repair a pretty broken relationship I've had with my father. I don't have any memories of him kissing or hugging me. I have a few memories of me going fishing with my dad and a few sports memories that's it.

He missed my college graduation because him and my mom were going thru their divorce and he never once saw me race my bike ever. I have a room full of trophies and it would've been nice for either parent to see me win. I always had my friend's mom there cheering for us but it wasn't the same.

So I want to make the memories my kids will remember and I want to make sure I'm in them.
 
Brother, I can empathize and sympathize with you here. Good on you.

I could have written your post myself.

What you're doing will make such amazing difference in the lives of your kids. It is sad that so many fathers fail to realize this. Our "society" is the worse for it.
 
Thanks choke....I appreciate that....today for instance we go every Saturday to the local farmers market and pick up a few things and today I grabbed a peck of sweet banana peppers and taught my son how to make banana rings like you but at the store....I've learned to be self reliant by necessity because I had to fend for myself since I was about 15.....so hunting fishing gardening and canning became something to survive in my younger years now that's all hobby stuff.
 
choke said:
Brother, I can empathize and sympathize with you here. Good on you.

I could have written your post myself.

What you're doing will make such amazing difference in the lives of your kids. It is sad that so many fathers fail to realize this. Our "society" is the worse for it.
Click to expand...

Very true!!!!!!
 
thats awesome oz...i never had a father either he was locked up my whole life and i make sure to show my kids that they are special...........
 
You guys that had some vacant fathers: Did you get pissed about this later in life? Or did it affect you in life?

I've always made it a habit to never ever let me daughter feel like she's without her dad. Thank God she's a daddy's girl. But I'm now helping my mother with some "stuff" that has opened a pandora's box of being pissed off... Meaning, I am now seeing some of the reasons my dad was vacant. And by helping, I mean helping her using some IT forensic abilities I've picked up via my profession.

I'm 43, and kinda pissed all of a sudden. I'm fortunate to have had a great Grandfather and uncles; but I'm pissed none the less.
 
i miss my Dad. He's been gone going on 5 years now. But now I treasure every minute I remember having with him.
 
choke said:
You guys that had some vacant fathers: Did you get pissed about this later in life? Or did it affect you in life?

I've always made it a habit to never ever let me daughter feel like she's without her dad. Thank God she's a daddy's girl. But I'm now helping my mother with some "stuff" that has opened a pandora's box of being pissed off... Meaning, I am now seeing some of the reasons my dad was vacant. And by helping, I mean helping her using some IT forensic abilities I've picked up via my profession.

I'm 43, and kinda pissed all of a sudden. I'm fortunate to have had a great Grandfather and uncles; but I'm pissed none the less.
Click to expand...

I don't live in the past and I don't hold a grudge towards my father. I just know that I will be better than what I had as a father. The name that raised me to be a man was my best friends dad. He took me camping fishing etc...he asked how school was going and I knew I could always count on him for advice if I needed it....he gave me a pocket knife that I still have to this day that I cherish more than my wedding ring....he was killed at work and I miss him to this day....I was a wreck for weeks after he died I cried and cried at his wake and funeral I still visit his grave every time I'm in that area. Both of his kids moved away years ago and his wife past (who was like a mother to me) so I keep his and her grave sites up out of respect.

So I'm fine and grew up fine regardless if my real parents were there or not.
 
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